My work trip to Chattanooga ended very nicely. I even found time to walk around their downtown, which is darn nice what with the river walk along the Tennessee River, the Walnut Street Pedestrian Bridge, and the spacious, wide sidewalks leading to loads of quality restaurants. The nice thing about doing consulting work with schools is that you are typically done by 4 p.m. at the latest.  I am happy to report that many a Frisbee floated in the Chattanoogan sky that eve.  If that city wasn’t in the South, I could totally see myself living there.

While at our client’s school, I was able to admire some of the artwork in the library, including several prints by John Falter. In fact, I liked them so much that I did a little bit of research on a few of my favorites. “The Bridge” stood out for its chaotic layout and stark portrayal of a Revolutionary War era battle, soon-to-be Americans bayoneting the hell out of some British jerks (no offense, Dan) who were trying to cross some bridge, hence the title (no image online of this painting as far as I could find, dern it). After a bit more Googling, it turns out that the bridge in question is The North Bridge of Battle of Concord fame, a integral moment in American history and one of the reasons why I had today off from work.

For today is Patriots’ Day! Most of the workin’ folk of Maine and Massachusetts had today off from toiling thanks to those long deceased minutemen. I spent the day most patriotically, starting off with a nice three-hour yard raking session. “The Pond” has all but dried up in the back, and I am determined to make use of as much of our property as possible. Those American revolutionaries didn’t charge into battle with rifles that couldn’t shoot a man with his finger in the barrel just so I could sit back and let a full third of my half acre estate fall into forgotten disrepair. No sir. As a true patriot on Patriots’ Day, I left no leaf unraked, no fallen branch uncollected. I’m happy to report that the yard looks a large percent better and ready for some shade gardens and such. And I even unearthed an action figure — a humanoid camel who turned out to be none other than Sandstorm, the cool camel captain!

Following all this patriotic lawn work, I loaded the family up and drove us all over 40 miles to the nearest Target for some all-American consumerism. Truthfully, we just needed to stock up on some things for Hazel’s first day of daycare, which is tomorrow. Rather than just settle for our local Wal-mart, we made a day of it and head to Augusta, our state’s fine capital. How could we have better paid tribute to those fallen nascent Americans than by touring the cerebral cortex of Maine’s democratic government? No better, fair readers, no better at all.

America, we breathed you deeply today, this glorious day, this Patriots’ Day. Amongst the olfactory tinge of the Union worker on the line, the immigrant family yearning to be free, and the odorous smoke of freedom-ringing fireworks, we sniffed fries and burgers. So, on the way home, we had a drive-thru dinner, like true American patriots.

Will Hazel be the first female President of these United States? Right now, she still has a chance as Clinton and Obama are deadlocked in their individual bids for the White House. Even if Hillary (the better, yet less “electable” runner) becomes the Democratic candidate, she’ll still have to contend with John “Tater Tot” McCain, Mike “I ♥ Creationism” Huckabee, or Mitt “En” Romney. I’d like to think that America is ready for a woman leader, like the rest of the world, but we’re barely ready for a female news anchor, so Hazel could still make history 34.25 years from now.

Although I have to admit that I hope my daughter decides on another career path. I don’t think you could pay me enough to be President. George Washington was offered a $25,000/year salary for being our first president and he waived it. What a stand-up guy; it took me three years of work after earning my BA in English to get that much clam in my pocket annually and I sure wasn’t going to pass it off like ol’ George. Of course, $25K back then is worth the equivalent of half a million now, so I really respect Washington. Nowadays, presidents take the money with a shrug, even though you have to be wealthy in the first place to afford to run a campaign. The current annual salary for the job is $400,000, but I don’t think it’s worth being the butt¹ of everyone’s jokes. Still, I do think it’d be fun to be lampooned by Saturday Night Live, but just star in a B-movie and you’re in like Flynn.

¹In our house, we trying to watch our language, including the word "butt". Instead we try and use "bottom", but it really doesn’t pack the same punch. Megan and I rarely swear, but I never realized how often we say words that we’d like Hazel to refrain from using until she graduates from college. I’d like to say that I’ll not use inappropriate language in front of Hazel, but I totally suck at using the right word and crap.

I can no longer completely ignore the 2008 Presidential Campaigns; now is the time to start paying attention so I can at least be an informed (if not still reluctant) voter this November. While I am a registered Independent, I do swing more towards the Democratic perspective on most issues. As such, I care more to find out about all the Democratic candidates while I’ll just wait for the Republicans to pick one guy for me to research and subsequently dislike.

Since you can watch the whole debate on Facebook, I’ll just give a brief synopsis of each major Democratic candidate still in the game, going in alphabetical order (by last name) so as not to show favoritism:

Hillary Clinton Hillary makes the best arguments by far of any of these candidates. Whenever the guys would get into a bombastic boondoggle, she would interject with exactly the right solution: one that is viable, achievable, and well thought out. Her failing is not in what she says, but how she says it. Hillary’s tone of voice cuts through your soul like a tyrannical librarian breaking up table talk in a library study hall. Some have said that the same verbal swagger and deliberateness would most assuredly be admirable in a male candidate, but we observed some proof against this societal bias last night; each time Hillary spoke, Hazel would whimper in her sleep in the next room.  Yes, against all signs her mullet hairstyle would give you, Hillary is business in the front and in the back.

John Edwards The nicest guy in politics, Edwards comes across as honest, earnest, and wholesome. I can easily figure out what he believes in and can rest assured that he will remain focused on his goals. These are all excellent qualities in a leader. But Edwards is also a pushover. I’m not saying that a headstrong maverick makes the best president, but having someone wishy-washy on the ballot will undermine any hope the Democrats have for a win in November. Plus, Edwards reminds me of Richard Davis from The Real Estate Pros. I half-expect Edwards to slap a USC visor on and declare, “We’re gonna go into Iraq and do a sugarcoat!”

Barrack Obama Obama carries himself like a president. He’s personable and intelligent, hitting all the issues with confident talking points in a voice that you instantly trust. However, I feel that trust may be unfounded and quite possibly naively given. Barrack is a lot like the popular guy in high school that knows everybody by name. He warmly greets each person he passes in the hall, but he never goes beyond the “What’s up?” smiling head nod. It’s all surface level interactions. His political inexperience rings true to this, but he is probably the most electable out of all the candidates.

Bill Richardson When Richardson first sat down for the debate, I thought that Horatio Sanz was punking Charlie Gibson. I couldn’t get the idea that Bill Richardson is actually Sanz out of my head all night, and I’m not saying that because both men are Hispanic. I’m saying that because both guys are overweight and don’t deliver prewritten lines very well. Despite being, as Richardson pointed out every time he had the floor, the only candidate “who has experience balancing a budget,” I cannot throw my support behind a man whose professional association routinely misspells their own titles. Gubernatorial? What are those state governors trying to pull?